10/27/12 - A letter from John Sheldon's sister Cyndy

October 24, 2012

Dear Friends and Family,

I'm sad to tell you that my dear brother, John, passed away in the early hours Attached is a pic I took in late May '13 of Tom with his daughter Amy during one of their group sing-alongs. He was in his element: laughing, joking and holding forth describing some of the history of the songs they were singing – with family and community friends. He was on oxygen pretty much all the time as you can see.ttached is a pic I took in late May '13 of Tom with his daughter Amy during one of their group sing-alongs. He was in his element: laughing, joking and holding forth describing some of the history of the songs they were singing – with family and community friends. He was on oxygen pretty much all the time as you can see.Attached is a pic I took in late May '13 of Tom with his daughter Amy during one of their group sing-alongs. He was in his element: laughing, joking and holding forth describing some of the history of the songs they were singing – with family and community friends. He was on oxygen pretty much all the time as you can see. Attached is a pic I took in late May '13 of Tom y during one of their group sing-alongs. He was in his element: laughing, joking and holding forth describing some of the history of the songs they were singing – with family and community friends. He was on oxygen pretty much all the time as you can see. Vo f October 18th. As many of you know he had been suffering for about 15 years with the aggressive form of prostate cancer, which our Dad died of many years earlier.

John had had many years to think about dying and it was a miracle in a way that he survived as long as he did. But finally the treatments he was on stopped working and the cancer spread to his bones and then his liver. At Erich Schimps (Simms) and my encouragement a year ago when his treatments weren't working, he moved to Colorado to be near his daughter, Heather. He'd only been there 6-8 months before his cancer began to spread rapidly.

John seemed to consciously or unconsciously know that his days here were coming to a close. Last year he flew to LA to be with his cousins Jack and Raymond, and then took the train to Portland to see his cousins Sally, Georgia, Jerry, Joel, Alicia, Cash and Ace, and then took the train to Bellingham Washington to see me. This past summer he visited me again, but was not feeling well at all. At that time we thought it was the food he had at a local restaurant. But now I realize it was his liver. A few weeks later, just a month ago now, he flew to the New Jersey shore to see Doug, his son, which is near Marcia, the mother of his children, and not far from Chappaqua and old friends on the East Coast.

It was while there that he felt ill and couldn't eat. Doug noticed how jaundiced he was. He was admitted to the hospital by Doug, much against his wishes (as he wanted Doug to take him to the airport to fly home to Colorado where Heather, his daughter could look out for him.) Doug, thank goodness, took him to the hospital in NJ, where he was for about a week. His liver was 75% damaged and he was having difficulty with his esophagus as well. The doctors, who had been in contact with his doctors in Colorado, said there was nothing more they could do, and he was moved to the Hospice recommended by them, which is in the town where Marcia lives. She and John had spent time together over the last year when she visited Heather in Colorado, and having her nearby was wonderful for John. Doug and his friend Kim were with John when he passed away, which was a blessing.

Tim and Ann Mygatt and Karen and Eric Lynds, all childhood friends, came to visit him. Although I didn't get to see him in NJ before he passed, I'd seen him a month before. Don Murphy, another dear childhood friend, and Lou and Roland from his Air Force days, were present for the lunch. At John's request earlier with his family, it was agreed to have a small memorial luncheon as soon as possible at the Kittle House in Chappaqua, where we had a similar gathering for our parents when they passed away.

And how synchronistic to be near Chappaqua, too! It was held Monday, October 22nd. The day was sunny, the fall leaves at their peak, and we had plenty of time to drive around showing John's kids some of our favorite places. Following the luncheon, we shared our thoughts, feelings and favorite stories of John and his life. It was very clear how much he was loved by friends and family, and how he kept in contact with so many. Those at the luncheon commented on how they never heard John complain whether it was physical pain or emotional pain in his life. He was always upbeat, a trait that his son said he especially appreciated about his dad.

It was almost like John orchestrated his trip to the West Coast last year, and his last days on the East Coast. There was something almost magical about it, which many of us commented on.

Unfortunately, not all his friends could be informed right away and an opportunity for more people to attend a memorial service was not possible. I hope you understand that Heather, our wonderful family organizer, lives in Colorado and had to return to her work life and other commitments as soon as possible. And Doug had to get back to his job teaching, and I had to also get back to work in Bellingham, Washington.

Although I know most of you will find your own special way to say your good bye to John, I do regret we couldn't all be together.

Warmly, Cyndy